I am a very sensitive person.
Most people that have met me would never guess that. But, those who know me well, know better.
Growing up, I always heard comments about how strong and confident I was.
But the truth is that what appeared like confidence and strength to others, was a protective shield that I created around myself to avoid getting hurt.
My emotions have always been intense and frequent. I am a water sign after all.
And, due to my childhood wounding, I could also sense emotional pain a mile away. This would trigger my sense of compassion, or sometimes fear. Both of which could be used to manipulate and hurt me.
I quickly learned that my emotions were a weakness that could be easily exploited and used against me. This scared and angered me.
So, I created a hard cocoon around me that became nearly impossible to penetrate.
This is something that I find to be very common in women from my generation.
A lot of us were raised to be strong. But that definition of strong meant:
not feeling or showing emotion
never needing help
I disconnected from my emotions. And, in turn, I completely disconnected from myself.
I closed myself off to receiving.
The protective shield that was keeping out the painful things, was also keeping out the joyful ones.
It wasn't until I was well into my emotional and spiritual healing journey that I realized that my ability to feel intense emotions was, in fact, a gift.
It allows me to experience life fully and to connect and see into others deeply.
The funny thing is that allowing myself to feel the emotions I tried so hard to hide for so many years, has made me stronger and more confident than ever.
Sensitivity IS the new strong.
Emotional Intelligence starts with awareness and the willingness to feel. Click on the button below if you want to learn more.